Erase
by nothing-rhymes-with-ianto
Summary: Justin gets a drunken phone call from Brian while living with Ethan. Brian/Justin-ish.


**So this is just random and hypothetical-ish. I thought of this while I was walking to the bus this morning. It's inspired by the song Erase by MIKA. Look it up on youtube and you'll understand.**

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It was 3 AM when Justin's cell phone beeped. Ethan murmured softly in his sleep and rolled closer to the edge of the bed. The phone beeped again. Justin groaned and covered his heads with the threadbare pillow. It did nothing to block out the noise. He heard Ethan beginning to awaken beside him, so he got up with a grunt, shoving the phone deep into his duffel bag, where the noise was muffled enough to let them go back to sleep.

When Justin woke the next morning, he was alone. There was a note on the scratched table in Ethan's chicken scrawl telling him that Ethan's teacher had called him in early to talk about something. Justin ate his stale cereal alone. His spoon was halfway to his mouth for a bite when he remembered his cell phone beeping at him in the night, the voicemail beep. He dug around in his duffel, tossing a couple black turtlenecks aside until he found the little plastic object. Dialing his voicemail password, he brought the phone to his ear.

"Hey, Sunshine!" Justin recognized Brian's drunken slur. He was tempted to delete the message without listening to it, but he wanted to know why Brian had called him, even though they weren't together any more.

"Hey, Sunshine. How's it going with the new dick?" Justin heard his snicker. Asshole. "I'm sure you're having great fun freeloading off of both of us, huh? Of course, you do whatever the fuck you want, so long as it benefits you. So you go and replace me with this ugly bastard." Brian was flashing quickly through emotions. Justin had the suspicion that he had been chosen as the audience to one of Brian's rambling, self-pitying, self-deprecating soliloquies.

"He just goes off. After I helped him." He was talking to himself now. Great. "He replaced me. Just as quick as the little fucker could. Brian Kinney doesn't get replaced. What? Who'm I kidding? Of course he does. Always does. Always have, always will. Y'hear that? It's true, Sunshine, always have, always will." A derisive snort shoved drunkenly out the speaker. "Killing me with kindness. That's bullshit. Fuck."

His voice was weary and sad, and now it took on a miserable, yearning tone that surprised Justin and made him realize just how very drunk Brian had been last night. "Can I just touch you? Please, Sunshine. I miss your skin. It's all soft and smooth and glowing. So hot. Your hair, too. Like fuckin' silk. Shit, it's cold in here. The bed's fuckin' freezing now. I don't sleep anymore, Justin. It's weird, you not sleeping here. Jesus, you ruined my bed. It used to be _mine_, now it's yours…ours….I dunno. Mikey, he says I should let you go. But fuck that, I didn't—I didn't fucking watch you die in my hands just to lose you all over again. No. You can do whatever the fuck you want, but I'm not letting you go that easy, dammit. But…it's hard enough seeing you at the diner all te time. And seeing you with him…it just…Fuck no. I can't. The loft's fucking empty without all your shit lying around. You socks on the floor and your school shit all over the place. All your sketches." He was getting louder. "You just take it all with you and leave me here with absolutely fucking nothing! Fuck you! I miss you, you little shit!"

There was a long pause, and Brian's heavy breathing could be heard through the speaker. The slosh and thunk of a bottle of Beam. A shaky exhalation. "Fuck." And then the sudden stillness of disconnect.

Justin sat for a moment with the phone to his ear, not hearing the voice asking him if he wanted to replay, save or erase this message. He shook his head to clear in, to remind himself where he was and who he was with. His finger paused over the Erase button. He brought his thumb down once, twice, but did not press. Then he sighed and pressed Save. He couldn't press Erase. He just couldn't pull that trigger.


End file.
